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No canoodling on the wedding night?
About one in three brides-to-be expect to hop in the sack and snooze after
the wedding reception. One in 10 say they anticipate staying up late swapping
stories from the big day.
That leaves just over half of brides consummating their vows, according to a
recent
Brides.com survey of 1,057 women.
The take-it-or-leave-it attitude toward sex marks a dramatic shift from
previous generations, when virgin couples got married early - sometimes years
earlier - in part to have sex.
"For the man who was a virgin, they would be thinking about sex as the main
goal of the wedding night, and no amount of exhaustion could interfere with that
agenda," said Dr. Scott Haltzman, an assistant professor of psychiatry and human
behavior at Brown University.
Deb McCoy, a Florida-based wedding consultant and author of several
wedding-related books, said weddings have morphed into a time for revelry - an
evening for partying and socializing with friends and family. The celebrations
have lost some of the intimacy.
"There is no wedding night in terms of what our parents anticipated," McCoy
said. "Romantic sex is the last thing on their minds."
Amy VanMeter recalled being too tired to be amorous on her wedding night.
"The wedding was a blur. It was wonderful, but we just crashed afterward. We
were so tired."
The honeymoon at Turks & Caicos Islands southeast of the Bahamas, was another
story, however.
"That was - well, let's just say it was very romantic," VanMeter said.
While Haltzman believes the question of "to have sex or not to have sex" on
the actual night of the nuptials is not a big deal, passing on sex that first
night could be a sign the couple is not putting enough value on physical
intimacy.
"That is the wrong message," said Haltzman.
As long as couples are on the same page, everything should be fine, he
said.
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