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Chances are that many -- if not most -- of your dearest don't live
down the road. Here's how to show your out-of-towners a good time.
For a significant number of your friends and family members, showing up
for your nuptial celebration may mean hopping on a plane to cross state
lines. These out-of-towners will go to a lot of effort and expense to
share in your momentous occasion, so it's your job to welcome them, help
them get around, and keep them entertained. With that in mind, here's
how to put them at ease.
These intrepid travelers have come to see you, so make sure they do
-- pull them aside for some one-on-one attention.
Essential Details
One of the simplest, yet probably most useful, things you could do for
your guests is to provide a wedding itinerary. After sending out your
invitations, mail guests an additional clever, elegant, or interesting
communique with a complete rundown of the events leading up to and
following your walk down the aisle. In addition, create a
wedding web page
for an easily referenced one-stop-shop for guests to check up on
everything you have planned. In both cases, include key times,
locations, who is hosting, what to wear, and so on for each activity.
Tell your visitors about any free time they'll have, and provide
suggestions for how to fill it. There may be events you have in mind
(such as a brunch the morning after the wedding) that travelers should
know about in advance so they can schedule their trips around them.
Be aware that since many of your guests are taking to the skies, they
may be turning your nuptial event into a weekend getaway or part of a
vacation. Also, remember that some of your guests may never have visited
the area before. You may wish to add in "travel guide" bits of
information to your pre-wedding itinerary to get guests excited about
the journey. For example, if there are some great sights to see or
points of interest to visit, tell your guests in case they'd like to do
some exploring. Do some research and investigate which museums will have
amazing exhibits showing, whether or not the local sports team is
playing a home game, and what musical or other cultural performances
will be happening.
Shelter & Travel
Though footing the bill for travelers' overnight accommodations and
flights isn't your responsibility, you and your fiance should offer
suggestions for how to find both (and tips on how to score good deals
will no doubt be appreciated by guests). Be sure to put important
details for airlines and hotels (website and street addresses, phone
numbers, directions, and cost information) on an insert sent out with
your invitations, or post it separately on your wedding itinerary or web
page so guests can book their flights and rooms early and know how to
get around once they arrive.
Recommend different places for guests to stay. Look for locations near
your ceremony and reception sites, and start calling around about six
months beforehand to check on large-scale availability for the days
surrounding your wedding, and to inquire about special group rates. To
get the best deal for your guests, reserve blocks of rooms at a couple
of hotels. Keep your guest's probable budget range in mind, and
recommend both fancy fare for those flush with cash and a less expensive
alternative for the budget-minded. For the best airfares, try getting in
touch with the airlines directly. Inquire about frequent-flyer deals,
special discounts, and group rates for those who may all be flying in
from the same place.
Getting Around
Some out-of-towners will choose to rent cars (be sure to provide car
rental info with your hotel and airline details), but for those who
don't, you'll have to figure out how they'll get to and from the
wedding. Cover all the bases: organize a fleet of relatives that will
act as
chauffeurs, talk to the hotel manager to arrange for a hotel
shuttle, hire a car or limo service, or rent a few vans or a bus.
It's also a kind gesture to have someone pick up non-drivers from the
airport -- especially if they're new to the area or get nervous
traveling. Recruit volunteers for this: parents, next of kin, and
friends are likely targets. Put together a roster of arrival times, and
have trekkers greeted at the gate with signs bearing their names (be
sure to let guests know you've arranged this, and clue them in on who to
look for).
Surprise Treats
Comfort the jet-lagged and travel-weary with a little something left in
their hotel rooms. Imagine their delight -- walking into their temporary
living quarters and discovering a basket of fresh fruit, a bouquet of
flowers, a tin of local chocolates, or a bottle of chilled bubbly. What
you choose to give depends on your resources, and can be as lavish as a
free massage at the hotel spa or as simple as a plate of homemade
chocolate-chip cookies. The purpose is to let guests know you appreciate
their effort to join you for your special day.
Create welcome packets of relevant information (phone numbers of the
families of the bride and groom, the names of the other guests staying
at the hotel, nearby hot spots to check out) to leave in guests' rooms
with another copy of your wedding itinerary, plus local brochures and
sightseeing maps. Enlist the aid of your wedding crew to assemble and
distribute all these treats. Finally, add that finishing touch and pen a
personal note thanking each guest for coming to celebrate with you.
Evening Entertainment
Leading up to the main event, you may have plenty to fuss over, but
out-of-town guests may not. Don't leave them in the lurch with nothing
to do. If many guests are showing up the night before the ceremony,
suggest ways they can stay amused while you hold the rehearsal dinner.
Ask a friend or relative to host a gathering like a backyard barbecue or
pizza party to help guests get to know one another. Or arrange to have
everyone meet together at a restaurant or bar. Better yet, create a more
casual rehearsal dinner, and open up the invite list to include everyone
who might be around. For guests who like to entertain themselves, be
sure to supply a roster of your favorite restaurants, shops, and local
movie theaters as a thoughtful gesture.
Time In-Between
Though recommended, sometimes it's not possible to have your reception
immediately follow your ceremony. If there will be a lengthy break
between your "I dos" and the party, or your ceremony is late in the day,
try to come up with a game plan. During a lull, some people won't mind
going back to the hotel and kicking back. But others may be interested
in touring your stomping grounds. If guests will have the morning free,
suggest a game of golf or a visit to a museum. With lots of spare time
between the main events, you could organize an excursion, such as taking
a group of guests to visit nearby attractions or to see a movie.
Quality Time
Remember the reason that these intrepid travelers have come is to see
you, so make sure they do. Pull them aside amid all the revelry for some
one-on-one attention, or make it a point to tell them at the receiving
line how much seeing them means to you. Raise your glass during toasting
time to acknowledge those who have come from afar, and consider setting
up something special for journeyers, such as a brunch the morning after
the ceremony (if you aren't already off to a magnificent honeymoon).
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