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Strange as it may seem the use of a wedding ring by men was not common until
recently. Whereas women have worn wedding rings for eons, men have not. The use
of rings as a symbol of everlasting love enshrined in marriage can be traced
back thousands of years. But not so much for men.
It was, in fact, during the second world war that the use of wedding rings by
men became more common. (Note that men's wedding rings and men's wedding bands
are interchangeable, both meaning the same thing.)
It became the custom for US soldiers going to war to publicize their marital
status by the wearing of a man's wedding ring. They were happy to make public
their commitment to their wife by the wearing of a public symbol that declared
that commitment to all. Given that this habit of wearing men's wedding bands was
reasonably new it was all the more creditable that these men were willing to
forego the marital obscurity available to them from not wearing a ring and
actively chose to make a public statement about their choice.
Men's wedding rings have become increasingly more common since that time.
Today it is probably as common for a newly married man to wear a ring as not.
This may be due to several factors. The modern man may consider it his duty to
choose to make the same public marital statement as his wife will. And his wife
may well consider it a condition of the marriage that he do so. After all, in
these days of equality, if she is prepared to make a statement then should he
not do so as well?
Despite the fact that the wearing of a ring by a woman is a matter of choice,
it is in fact almost obligatory due to the fact that it is so common. Many women
do not even consider the possibility of not wearing one. Often, however, a man
usually considers the wearing of a man wedding ring very carefully.
There are a number of issues to consider. Firstly, is he concerned about a
public display of his marital status? Some men, whether rightly or wrongly, are
threatened by this. Others are not in the least concerned.
Secondly whilst the wearing of jewelry by women is so common as to go
unremarked that is not necessarily the case for men. For many men the wearing of
men's wedding bands is just a case of being asked to wear jewelry. Men often do
not feel comfortable wearing jewelry and in many cases have never done so
before. Whilst some men see their wedding band as different to wearing ordinary
jewelry, others feel just the same as if they were being asked to wear ear
rings. "It's just not done by men". The author, for example, wears a man wedding
band, but would never consider wearing any other form of jewelry.
And as many men have never worn any form of jewelry before they have no idea
what it will feel like to have something permanently on the finger. Is it heavy?
Does it rub? Silly as it may seem to women this can be of concern to some men.
(If this genuinely is of concern it is quite possible to find a cheap jewelry
shop, buy the cheapest ring available and wear it for a while. See exactly what
it feels like. And find out your size at the same time.)
Men's wedding rings are, in the eyes of some men, effeminate. "Real men"
don't wear rings or jewelry at all. This is becoming less of an issue as the
wearing of a man's wedding ring becomes more common, but is still an issue with
many men.
Culture is also a consideration. In many cultures the wearing of wedding
rings by men would never be considered. Men must think about how their
particular culture, and also their religion, would view the wearing of a wedding
band.
There are also practical considerations. Many men are engaged in trades where
the wearing of a man wedding band would be downright dangerous. Although
unlikely it is quite possible for a ring to get caught in machinery. In some
jobs a ring cannot be worn on the job, and must be removed. This can also apply
to women.
Ultimately though, the wearing of a men's ring is just one of the many
choices the man will have to make once he makes the commitment to marry. And it
is often a choice made by the couple together, maybe one of the first they make
in conjunction about their wedding.
Which finger is the ring worn on, and why?
Generally a man's wedding band is worn on the ring finger, the same as for
women. The ring finger, for those unmarried men not familiar with the concept,
is the fourth finger of the left hand. This is considered to be the finger
closest to the heart.
This notion came originally from the ancient Greeks who believed that this
finger had an artery which flowed straight to the heart. Whilst anatomically
incorrect this makes for good fable.
So you have both decided that he will wear a men's wedding ring!
Once the man or couple have made the decision to purchase a men's wedding
ring for him there are still choices to make. Do they want to wear a matching
set? Or does he prefer that his ring looks quite different to his wife's. It is
perfectly possible for a couple to buy a ring set where the style of the rings
match perfectly, or even with matching engraved messages of love.
Generally though, even where the couple are to wear a matching ring set, the
two rings are different. It is more common for the man's wedding ring to be
wider than the woman's. This is because men's hands and women's hands are
different. A woman usually has narrower finer fingers, and so a narrower band
suits her hand. A man on the other hand has wider chunkier fingers and so a
wider man wedding band is more suited.
This often results in the mans ring costing more than the woman's ring even
with matching styles, as the mans ring uses more, often expensive, material.
There are many innovative styles available now. Many men prefer a simple
unadorned band, however others enjoy highly decorated styles which make a loud
statement. The wearing of, for example, very wide and highly adorned Celtic
rings is becoming much more common.
When considering the styles of men's wedding rings it is well worth thinking
about the personality of the individual. While different men have very different
personalities different rings will suit different personalities as well. A loud
outgoing man, for example, can wear a loud outgoing unique men's ring.
There are many different ring materials which also reflect the personality of
the individual. Titanium or Platinum are both becoming much more popular. Whilst
diamonds are not, of course, as popular with men as with women, they do make a
clear statement which pleases some men who choose them. Diamond men's rings
clearly say "I can afford it" or at least the big ones do. But it can be a brave
man who chooses to wear a large diamond band.
Ultimately there are no rules about choosing a man wedding band. It is up to
either the man or the couple together to make a decision. Will he or won't he.
There are a variety of considerations. First, will he wear one? Once that
decision is made in the affirmative then there is a whole world of choice about
styles, widths, materials and the type of statement the ring makes, both for the
man and the woman.
But once he has his ring on it is rare that he decides that he doesn't like
it. And even if he doesn't, it is rare that the woman will let him take it off!
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