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It’s safe to
say that of all the important events in your lifetime, your wedding day is
certain to be right up there with those that are the most meaningful. And
throughout the entire wedding day – the preparations, the ceremony, the
reception, and the wedding night – the moment when you recite your wedding vows
to each other is the most meaningful. It is a time that you will remember
forever, exactly as it felt: a sublime, dreamlike fantastical moment, when
everyone significant to you is watching as you join in wedlock with the most
important individual in your life.
Conquering
Your Fears
Since this is
such a unique and central moment to your romantic life, you’re probably
wondering how it is that you’ll make the experience better than that 10th grade
public-speaking assignment where you blanked out halfway through and fainted in
front of all of your peers. Begin by telling yourself that it is perfectly
natural to feel nervous when speaking in public. Moreover, not everyone is born
with perfect public-speaking skills that accurately demonstrate what they feel
in their hearts. However, fortunately for the majority of us, these things can
be learned.
Of course, being
well-prepared and armed with wedding vows you know are the absolute best they
could possibly be is one of the easiest ways to overcome these fears. How do I
know? Because the home-study course I put together, The Wedding Vow Tool Kit, has helped hundreds of couples take the fear out of their wedding
ceremony by giving them the tools they need to write truly amazing wedding vows.
But beyond
that, when you think logically about each of these fears, you’ll realize there
is nothing that cannot be overcome with a bit of care, technique, and practice.
Let’s take a realistic look at these five incredibly common worries. In a few
minutes, you’ll see that none of them are likely to spoil your ceremony.
Common Fear
#1: Freezing Up
This is a
direct result of being excessively nervous. Therefore, it’s important to come up
with some calming techniques that will help you to keep cool. It’s only natural
to be a bit nervous. In fact, the added rush from being a little on the anxious
side can actually help you to speak better and with added feeling. The best
technique that you can give yourself is breathing. Most often, when we are
overly frightened, we either breathe much too quickly or we hold our breath.
Therefore, as you’re keeping yourself calm, concentrate
on breathing smoothly,
neither too fast or too slow, but regularly, in through your nose and out
through your mouth. Practice a few times in advance, especially in other
situations that you’ve found a bit stressful in the past. You’ll be surprised at
what an enormous difference something as simple as breathing can do for you.
Common Fear
#2: Going Blank
This is
another trick played by your overly-nervous brain. To stop yourself from
becoming so nervous that you go blank, or even to remove any fear that you may
go blank, bring a “backup” copy of your wedding vows on cue cards that you can
slip into your pocket. Make sure they are very crisp and neat looking so that
you won’t hesitate to use them if you have to, and write clearly on them so that
you won’t get stuck due to sloppiness.
Common Fear
#3: Blushing, Dry Mouth, and Shaking.
These are
extremely common physical responses to being nervous and having to perform in
front of others. However, even if they do begin to occur, you can bring yourself
to a calmer state where these physical symptoms will begin to fade. Try to
ignore blushing and shaking as much as possible and just concentrate on your
vows and how much you love the person to whom you are making those vows. With
regards to dry mouth, drink lots of water beforehand, and try not to think about
it. As long as you concentrate on what you’re doing, instead of the fact that
you are blushing, shaking, or have a dry mouth, they will actually begin to
resolve themselves quite quickly.
Common Fear
#4: Having Someone Heckle
This is a
common fear, but it simply doesn’t happen at weddings. Remind yourself that
everyone there with you is hoping the very best for you and your future spouse.
They are all nervous right along with you and wouldn’t dream of saying anything
but best wishes for your future together. The closest they will come to
“heckling” is sending a mental prayer to provide you the strength and the
courage to continue so that you may enjoy long and happy lives together.
Common Fear
#5: Being Judged
The people
attending your wedding are all people who know you, like or love you, and who
wish you the very best. They know how much adrenaline is running through your
system as you say your wedding vows, and wouldn’t judge you at a time like that;
except to think about how well suited you are to the love of your life. |
