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The Ceremony
Seating Parents
The parents of the bride always sit in the first pew on the left,
facing the chancel; the groom's parents sit in the first pew on the
right. If the church has two aisles, her parents sit on the right of
the left aisle (as they enter the church from the back), and his
parents sit on the left of the right aisle. This way both are seated
in the center section of the house of worship.
Seating Widowed Parents
Widowed parents of either the bride or groom should not necessarily
be expected to sit in lonely splendor at their child's wedding. If
they prefer having someone by their side during the ceremony, it is
perfectly correct to do so. The guest of the widowed parent does not
have to participate in any way, however, such as standing in the
receiving line -- unless he or she is engaged to the widowed parent
or is helping to host the reception. Every effort should be made to
treat the companion as an honored guest.
Seating Parents Who Are Divorced
When either the bride's or the groom's parents are divorced, it is
best to have specific advanced instructions for seating, in the
interest of amicability. They most likely would not sit together.
Unless the bride is estranged from her mother, her mother (and
stepfather, if her mother has remarried) is seated in the front pew.
Members of her immediate family -- the bride's grandparents, aunts,
and uncles -- sit immediately behind her (preferably in no more than
one or two rows of pews). The bride's father, after escorting his
daughter up the aisle and presenting her to her groom, sits in the
next pew back, behind the bride's mother's family, with his wife and
their family members.
If there is rancor between divorced parents but the bride has
remained close to both, the situation is much more difficult.
Perhaps she has lived with her father since the divorce. Maybe her
mother is hosting the wedding, either entirely or with the bride's
father. Sometimes a bride's father (or mother) has remarried and her
other parent resents the ex-partner's spouse. If, for example, the
bride's mother strongly resents the new wife, it would be more
tactful for the new wife to sit farther back in the church,
preferably with a friend. In these circumstances the father might
not even attend the reception. Grandparents and other relatives on
his side might be excluded entirely, unless the bride has remained
close to them.
Even if the wedding is given by the bride's father, the seating
arrangements remain the same. The bride's mother (and her present
husband, if the bride is comfortable about his being there) sits in
the first pew. The bride's father and stepmother sit in the front
pew only when the bride is estranged from or not close to her mother
or is closer to her stepmother. Ordinarily the father's family sits
in the third or fourth pew, where he joins them after escorting the
bride.
When the groom's parents are divorced, they are seated in the same
manner. The groom's mother, accompanied by close members of her
family, sits in the first pew (or pews) on the right side of the
aisle. The groom's father and family sit in the next pew behind the
groom's mother's family.
Naturally, if the divorce is an amicable one and all are great
friends, there is no reason that all the bride's or groom's divorced
parents cannot share the first pew. It is only when relations are
strained or sensitivities great that the etiquette of careful
seating need be employed.
Seating Immediate Family
Behind the front pews, several pews on either side of the center
aisle are reserved for the immediate families of the couple. The
people who are to sit there may have been sent pew cards to show
their usher, or the usher may keep a list of guests to be seated in
the first few pews.
This article originally appeared
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The Reception
The bride and groom hold the two most important seats at the
reception. Their table should be easily seen from anywhere in the
room so all the guests can be witness to their expressions of
happiness. The following diagrams offer suggestions for seating
attendants and family members.
The Wedding Party
Traditionally, the table for the wedding party is rectangular, with
seating on one side only, facing out, so the guests can see the
couple easily; often the table will be on a dais. The table should
be centrally located, and flower arrangements should be kept low so
as not to obstruct anyone’s view.
If the table is round, the bride and groom should still face the
room. The best man is seated to the right of the bride; the maid or
matron of honor sits to the groom’s left. The remainder of the
wedding party is seated outward from the bride and groom,
alternating groomsmen and bridesmaids.
Parents of the Bride and Groom
At the most traditional hosts’ table, the bride’s mother sits in the
center facing out, where she can keep close watch on the party; the
bride’s father sits directly across from her, and the groom’s father
sits on her right. The officiant may be seated to the left of the
bride’s mother. The groom’s mother traditionally sits to the right
of the bride’s father, with the officiant’s spouse to his left.
The seating arrangement above allows the closest relatives and
friends of the bride and groom to join them at one table. The
wedding party is represented with the best man to the right of the
bride and the maid or matron of honor to the groom’s left.
Traditionally, the male-female pattern continues around the entire
table. Grandparents or siblings can be seated on the other side of
each of the honor attendants. The officiant is seated to the right
of the grandparent next to the best man; the bride’s mother is to
the right of the officiant. On her right, the groom’s father is
seated with the officiant’s spouse (if he or she has one) on his
right. Finally, the father of the bride is seated to the right of
the officiant’s spouse, while the groom’s mother is seated to his
right.
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