|
My husband and I were in the midst of planning a big church wedding for our
daughter, Elena, when she phoned one Saturday night. “Tony’s been called up,”
she said, sounding like she was about to cry. Her fiancé, U.S. Marine Reserves
Cpl. Tony Mauer, was being sent to the Persian Gulf imminently. “We were
thinking about getting married in a civil ceremony on Tuesday,” she said. “Would
you come?” So began our adventure planning a long-distance wedding (we live near
Pittsburgh; they were in New York) on short notice.
Three days later, Elena and Tony were married in a 68-second ceremony at City
Hall in downtown Manhattan. She wore a plaid skirt and carried a bouquet of
white roses; he wore a handsome navy suit and a white rose boutonniere.
Afterward, 18 family members and friends celebrated with Italian food,
champagne, and a blue-and-white wedding cake that we’d brought from our local
supermarket. It wasn’t what we had originally planned, but it had everything we
wanted, especially joy.
Express Lane
War isn’t the only reason for a quickie wedding—serious illness, a pregnancy,
and a job transfer are other possible situations. Whatever the impetus, you can
still create a day that’s special:
Consider a civil ceremony.
In most states, such unions can
be arranged with just a few days notice, unlike many church services.
Get on the phone. We didn’t have time to mail invitations,
so I called everyone Elena and Tony wanted to invite. E-mailing them seemed too
impersonal and risky, since I didn’t know how often people checked their
accounts.
Make the wedding festive.
This involves setting priorities
and delegating chores. In our case, Tony’s mother and I decided flowers and cake
were the most essential traditions to have. She ordered the bridal bouquet while
I arranged for a two-tiered wedding cake.
Invite lots of guests. More people will make your day feel
more celebratory. The saying, “Friends increase our joy and diminish our grief”
rang true in a big way for us.
Take lots of pictures. There was no time to hire a
professional photographer, so we snapped away with disposable cameras. Those
shots and our homemade video are both entertaining and poignant.
Pick a familiar place for the meal.
We chose an elegant but
cozy restaurant where Elena and Tony had dined before. They knew the food would
be delicious, and the service solicitous. This isn’t the time to take a chance
on a new spot.
Go with the flow.
We made a point to appreciate the
wedding’s uniqueness, like the strangers who broke out in song upon seeing the
video camera.
Make cancellations later.
Don’t worry about the original
wedding plans until you return home. As soon as you do get back, though, call
any vendors with whom you have a signed contract. Ours were almost uniformly
supportive once they learned the reason we were canceling, and several waived
the penalty fee.
Don’t blame anyone.
Whether the reason for the wedding
cancellation is war, accident, or sudden illness, remind yourself that there is
nothing you can do about it. Some things in life will resist your best efforts,
including your daughter’s dream wedding.
Think about the future.
Rather than be glum, I planned on
putting my energies into organizing a post-wedding shower in honor of my
daughter. |
