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With the number of mixed marriages taking place, many couples are opting to have
a civil ceremony instead of a religious ceremony for their wedding. This allows
them to include special readings, vows, symbols or wedding themes (whether
religious or not) that they may not be able to include in a religious ceremony
or location.
A civil ceremony contains no religious elements (except for what the couple
may add) and can be performed in a judge's chambers, registrar's/lawyer's office
or a venue of your choice, depending on the area in which you wish to get
married in. Different laws apply to different states and countries and you can
usually find out most of the information from the local court house or City Hall
in the city where you wish to be married.
For a small fee, they should also be able to supply you with a list of names,
addresses and phone numbers of
various officiants who can perform a civil ceremony.
It's a good idea to set up appointments and meet with 3 or 4 different
officiant's, as some won't be available on your wedding date and some you may
not like. It is important that you feel comfortable with the officiant who is
performing the ceremony and that you feel that he/she is interested in you as a
couple.
Some important questions to ask the officiant are:
1. Are you available on this date and are you willing to travel to the
location? If you are planning on having a private ceremony and a reception later
for family and friends, ask if the officiant can provide a room or location in
which to conduct the ceremony.
2. How long have you been conducting civil ceremonies and what is your fee?
3. Are you available for a rehearsal and when are you available?
4. What is the standard ceremony that you use and can we add our own vows,
readings, etc. to the ceremony? Do you have any sample ceremony sheets that you
could provide?
5. What is the procedure we need to follow in order to obtain a marriage
license?
The officiant should be able to advise you on the procedure you will need to
follow in order to get your marriage license. Here are a few things that are
fairly standard in most areas. You will each need to have the following
documents:
* a birth certificate and/or passport for identification (with a picture)
* a copy of your Marriage Certificate and the Certificate of Divorce if either
of you were previously married
* any name change deeds if you had your name legally changed
* a utility bill or some other type of document that gives your current address
* some areas require that you also provide your father and your mother's
(maiden) names
* if you are under 18, you will most likely need signed permission from a parent
or guardian in most places.
Some locals still require couples to have a blood test before issuing a
license. This is probably a good idea regardless of whether it is required or
not. Remember, you're not just marrying one person...
but every other person your mate may have slept with.
Also keep in mind to budget for the various fees, such as the officiant's fee
(for the ceremony), the registration fee and the marriage license fee. These
vary from location to location.
As with any marriage ceremony, you will need to have two witnesses to sign
the legal documents once the ceremony is performed. If you are eloping, often
times the officiant can provide the two witnesses from his/her staff.
All in all, a civil ceremony is much more flexible in today's world. You both
may incorporate aspects of each of your religions if you wish, write your own
vows and have any type of wedding theme you want, whereas a typical religious
ceremony tends to restrict much of this. Civil ceremonies also tend to be a
favorite with
the budget conscious couple, as they are usually much cheaper in the long run.
Whatever type of ceremony you choose, the most important thing to remember is do
what makes you happy as a couple. It's your wedding after all.
Rose Smith is the author of How to Create a Beautiful Medieval Wedding and
several other wedding ebooklets.
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