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Who knew planning a wedding would be
akin to staging a major Broadway production? To help out with your
co-directorial debut, we've prepared a cross-section of the wedding day
cast of characters. (Keep in mind that most roles can be played by either
gender, and by as many people as you want.)
Best man This guy acts as groom's valet (personal aide and advisor)
through all stages of wedding planning. He's a fashion consultant,
bachelor-party master of ceremonies, and commander-in-chief of the
groomsmen brigade. His duties include (but aren't limited to): getting the
groom to the ceremony on time; giving the officiant his/her fee after the
ceremony; signing the couple's marriage license; and holding the bride's
ring at the altar. He also is famous for his toasting skills and dancing
savoir faire.
Bride No surprises here. The bride's duties are to plan all aspects
of the event with the groom, from ordering boutonnieres to booking the
banquet hall. She marries the groom, too. Her goal? To have as much fun as
possible.
Bridesmaids Trustworthy gal pals and female family members who form
the bride's entourage (and ostensibly work well together). They are a
support team for the maid of honor, helping with pre-wedding tasks when
asked (addressing invites, making shower favors, planning the bachelorette
party, and more). Bridesmaids are often expected to hit the dance floor
running and play surrogate hostesses to guests.
Candle lighter In some Christian ceremonies, pre-teens aged 9-12
(who aren't pyromaniacs) light candles at the altar just before the mother
of the bride (see below) is seated. Candle lighters may dress like the
wedding party or sport their own attire.
Father of the bride In traditional wedding circles, this guy fronts
most of the cash -- that's no small feat. Even so, brides' dads have
picked up additional to-dos along the way. Dad's chores might include
airport duty, coordinating maps/directions to the wedding site, scouting
potential locations, doling out tips to wedding day staff, and a variety
of toasting and hosting tasks.
Father of the groom He used to get away with fading into the
woodwork, but nowadays he's suited up for action. In terms of cost
contribution, the groom's dad pays for a few major items, notably the
rehearsal dinner. He might also fulfill numerous dancing, toasting, and
"manly" obligations (i.e., escort elderly women, move tables,
address problematic service). It's nice, too, if he checks in with the
bride's dad occasionally to offer moral support.
Flower girl/child Wee ones aged 3-8 who walk down the aisle before
the bride, scattering flower petals from a basket (or carrying a
pomander). Little ladies are the norm, but cute little boys can fill this
role, too. Most flower children sit with their parents after completing
their stroll.
Groom He's the bride's wedding planning co-pilot, taking all the
various to-dos like a man. Chief responsibilities may include (but aren't
limited to): heading up the band and DJ selection process, coordinating
limo details, booking rooms for out-of-town guests, and doing most of the
honeymoon legwork. Guess what? He also marries the bride. His goal? To
make the bride laugh as much as possible.
Groomsmen A posse of male family and friends who assist the groom
in planning and preparing for the big day. Their chief responsibility? To
help the best man plan and pay for the bachelor party. It's also common to
have groomsmen do double duty as ushers, leaving their posts in time to
process with the rest of the bridal party. They also get to decorate the
getaway car, dance with dateless ladies at the reception, and act as a
resource for confused guests.
Hattabin A Muslim term for male family or friends who help prepare
the groom for and participate in the wedding. Among Moroccan Muslims, it's
common for the hattabin to propose to the bride on the groom's
behalf.
Honor attendants The best man (see above) and the maid of honor
(see below) are considered honor attendants. They may prefer to go by this
title, forgoing gender-specific references. An honor attendant may also be
known as "best person."
Huppah carriers In Jewish weddings, individuals close to the bride
and groom (usually family members or close friends) hold up the huppah
poles during the ceremony. They are often part of the shushavim
(see below).
Junior bridesmaids/junior groomsmen/junior ushers Young members of
the wedding party (aged 9-16). They'll attend all major functions
(excluding X-rated ones) and fulfill the same responsibilities as senior
squad members. Lasses can wear less-sexy versions of the bridesmaid
dresses (if the dresses are risque); lads may don a tux like the big guys.
Koumbaro/Koumbara The Koumbaro is the Eastern Orthodox
groom's best man. (The Koumbara is the female version.)
Traditionally, the koumbaros was the groom's godfather, but today
any close male relative or friend can do the job. In traditional Greek
weddings, the koumbaro's role is highly symbolic, and his duties
are many. For example, during the crowning ceremony, he must place the
crowns on the bride's and groom's heads, then switch the crowns back and
forth three times, uniting and binding the two lovebirds.
Maid/matron/man of honor The bride's right-hand for the duration of
the planning process -- she's there to supply a second pair of eyes and
provide emotional support as needed. In general, the maid of honor heads
up the bridal shower and handles numerous wedding day details, which might
include toasting the bride and groom, signing the marriage license,
adjusting the bride's train at the altar, holding her bouquet during vows,
and collecting gift envelopes at the reception. She also should help the
bride get dressed, taking care to frequently remind her that she looks
beautiful. She is the last bridesmaid to walk down the aisle before the
bride, holding the groom's ring on her thumb.
Mother of the bride The bride's mom may serve as wedding planner,
guest list moderator, traditional reception hostess, fashion critic, and
cheerleader. Other possible duties include researching family and ethnic
traditions, attending the shower and rehearsal dinner, and dancing the
night away at the reception. The nature of the bride's mother's role is
entirely up to the bride.
Mother of the groom The groom's mom can assume any of the bride's
mom's responsibilities, if she's up for it. Dole out to-dos diplomatically
to prevent conflicts. She attends the shower, and is escorted down the
aisle during the prelude. Her shining moment? The mother/son dance.
Officiant The cleric or city official who performs the marriage
ceremony. Examples include a priest, a rabbi, a minister, or a justice of
the peace.
Pages Young boys (or girls) aged 6-9 who carry the bride's
extra-long train (think of a royal wedding) as she walks down the aisle.
Also known as "train bearers."
Ring bearer A young boy (or girl) aged 4-8, who walks down the
aisle just before the flower girl (if there is one), carrying a small
decorative pillow with two rings tied to it (usually fakes, in case they
are lost).
Shushavim A Jewish term describing anyone close to the bride and
groom who helps them plan and prepare for marriage. In many Jewish
weddings, there is no traditional wedding party, but certain members of
the shushavim (a mom, a sister, a best friend) might perform
similar tasks.
Train bearer (see Pages)
Ushers Males (or females) who escort guests to their seats before
the ceremony. Ushers are often employed in addition to groomsmen -- this
way you can involve other important guys in the big day, including
pre-teen relatives who may not have been up for planning a lascivious
bachelor party.
Vratimi Basically, they're Greek groomsmen. In traditional Eastern
Orthodox weddings, the vratimi is a pack of the groom's male
friends who help the koumbaro carry out his traditional role and
perform various rituals.
VIPs Very important people who act as readers, singers, poets, or
party aides. A VIP can also serve as guest book captain (makes sure all
guests sign), tradition bearer (walks down the aisle toting a family
heirloom or heritage symbol), or etiquette guru (fields all guest
questions that begin with, "Is it okay if...").
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