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An engagement party really has no proper timing. Many etiquette books will
recommend anywhere from 4-8 months prior to the wedding. But if you’re hoping
to use the engagement party to spring the engagement announcement on friends and
family, clearly you may need to act more quickly (or they’ll have already
heard throughout the grapevine).
There are only two essentials to the proper timing of an engagement party:
While anyone, aside from the bride or groom, is welcome to host an engagement
party, more often than not, it’s the bride's parents who step up to the plate.
Invitations
Don't invite anyone who you will not be inviting to your wedding. The engagement
party is as the name suggests, a party, not a formal or traditional occasion.
Therefore keep it small and intimate and celebrate this happy time with only
your closest relatives and friends. By doing this you will not only have a great
time but won't risk having to apologize to anyone for not inviting them to your
wedding because you don't have room for them in the church or reception venue.
At this early stage you may not even have set a date, let alone, chosen a venue
and so you have no idea if you may well be restricted to a certain number of
guests because of your choice of reception venue. It's a party - not the
wedding.
Do you issue formal invitations or just call up friends and invite them? This is
up to you and the sort of party you are having, some are more formal than others
and a printed invitation to a dinner at a hotel or private house would be the
correct way to invite your guests, particularly as for such an occasion an RSVP
is required in order that correct numbers can be catered for. If you are meeting
at a bar or restaurant or having an informal gathering at your home, it would be
appropriate to call or email your guests to let them know.
Gifts
It is certainly proper to bring a gift to any special occasion, including
engagement parties. However, it is not required and rarely expected. An
engagement party is often given six months to one year before the wedding. Gifts
can be as simple as a lovely bouquet of flowers to be enjoyed during the evening
or as practical as the ever needed toaster oven.
However, for the most part, gifts are neither expected nor given at engagement
parties.
Engagement Gifts – Separate from Engagement Party
That isn’t to say that engagement gifts are never given; they are simply not
given at the engagement party and not by all people. Engagement gifts are
generally given to the bride only and then, only by family and the very closest
of friends. When given, these gifts are usually mailed to the bride's house or
bride's parents house.
There are two reason gifts aren't given at an engagement party. First and
foremost -- only a few people would even give an engagement gift in the first
place. An engagement party will have any number of people who are not expected
to give gifts but could feel uneasy should others give gifts and they do not.
Secondly, since many engagement parties are "surprise" parties for
friends and family, you can’t expect people who don’t realize the occasion
to come armed with a gift for it!
Engagement Themes and Ideas
Engagement parties really run the gamut of formality. Some are as casual as
gathering in a bar some Friday night to toast to the future wedding. Others,
such as
Troy
and Patricia's, are catered affairs, with printed invitations and caterers
scurrying about. Like anything related to a wedding, go with what works for you.
Here are some ideas:
-
Cocktail Party: Cocktail parties are much less work than a dinner
party, and usually a lot more fun if you're going to have more than 15
people. For a memorable cocktail party, play some great music to keep the
party lively, make sure you will not run out of drinks before the end of the
night, and choose to serve liquor over beer or wine. You could even make up
a drink and name it for the newly betrothed couple. Remember: offer some
delicious virgin concoctions for those who don't drink, and keep the
appetizers simple and hearty (to absorb the booze).
-
Outdoor Picnic: This is a romantic (thought somewhat risky) notion
to celebrate an upcoming wedding. If you’ve got your undying faith in
Mother Nature, choose a beautiful spot in a local park or garden, ask 20-30
of your closest friends and relatives to show up at sundown, spread blankets
out, watch the sunset, and make a toast to the newfound joy of your friends.
Serve simple fruit, pastries, cheese and crackers. Then break out the wine
for a lovely and romantic summer evening.
-
Theme Party: If the happy couple has a particular passion, consider
centering the party around that and make it your theme. If they are both
archeologists, throw an Engagement “Dig!” The options are endless, and
have the potential to be endlessly fun. Here are a few suggestions you can
find online:
.
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Dance Party: If movin’ and groovin’ would be a popular
activities among your party guests, center the party around it. You can
really mix it up by having someone lead everyone in a little square dance or
line dance. You’d be amazed at how easy it is to pick those moves up.
They’re fun, and they’re a great way to get guests to mingle.
-
Honeymoon Destination: If you’ve got the inside scoop as to where
the couple might be headed on their honeymoon, then capitalize on that
information! Headed to Hawaii? Throw a luau. The Caribbean? A reggae party
with jerk chicken and tropical drinks would be a blast! And if appropriate,
ask guests to come dressed for the occasion.
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