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Of all the wedding day rituals,
the first dance as a newly married couple is perhaps, the sweetest. It
reminds us all of the promise that having a lifetime partner holds and
recalls our thoughts of romance and permanence. Of course, it can also be
a source of stress for the couple involved if they have not spent any time
preparing beforehand.
Partner dancing is a skill like any other and with a minimum of practice
and preparation, any couple can take the spotlight with confidence and
grace on their big day. So, how should you prepare? What are your options
and where do you start? Here are some tips and suggestions that will help
you make this moment fun and special.
Have you chosen a song for your first dance? If you have not yet
chosen a song, you may want to consider what type of dance you would like
to do and work backwards from there. Would you want the classic romance of
a waltz, or would you prefer a relaxed and jazzy foxtrot? Maybe the
exuberant energy of a swing dance or the intensity of an Argentine Tango
is more your style. If you enjoy Latin rhythms you may like a slow rumba
or a lively salsa. A simple slow dance is always an option. Please keep in
mind that some dance styles are easier to learn than others, so time may
be a factor in your decision.
Will the band be playing your song or will you be dancing to a
recording? This decision will also affect what song you choose. Standards
such as “Our Love is Here to Stay”, “It Had to be You”, and
“Time after Time” are songs that every jazz band should be able to
play for you if you let them know in advance. The bandleader should also
be told what tempo to play the song and for what length of time. If you
have been practicing to a certain recording of your song, be sure to make
a copy for your bandleader so that he/she understands exactly what type of
arrangement and feeling you are expecting. The same song may be played in
many different ways, so it is important to communicate to avoid surprises
on your wedding day.
Should you take dance lessons to prepare for your first dance
together? Don’t take lessons because you feel that some sort of
performance is expected out of you. Remember that this is your day and
should reflect something about you. However, if dancing together is
something that you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time or the
nerve, now is a great opportunity. Remember that this will be something
that the two of you can share forever. There will always be plenty of
opportunities to enjoy your dancing skills- at a friend’s wedding, a
fancy function, or even a nightclub.
Where should you go to take lessons? You should be able to find
teachers who have experience with wedding couples at your local ballroom
dance studio. When you call, ask if that studio has any special wedding
packages available. Most ballrooms offer both group classes and private
lessons. Group classes are certainly more affordable, but a private lesson
will focus only on what you want to learn and go at whatever pace is best
for you. You should expect to pay anywhere from $25-$80 per hour (for a
couple) for a private lesson, and $6-$15 each for a group class.
There are many types of partner dancing, so it is important to
make sure that your instructor specializes in the dance style that you
have chosen. Depending on your location, it is often better to go to the
clubs if you are interested in a nightclub dance such as swing, salsa, or
Argentine Tango. Many clubs offer lessons before the band plays or the
dancing begins. Once you have found a teacher that you feel comfortable
working with, be sure to bring him/her a recording of your song. If you
haven’t chosen a song yet, your instructor may be able to make some
suggestions.
If you have trouble finding a teacher that you like, or if time
and money are considerations, you may want to try learning to dance from
an instructional videotape. There are several videos that cater
specifically to wedding couples and their special needs. This will allow
you to learn at any time and in the privacy of your home, which is ideal
if either of you are nervous about learning to dance. Some people find
that they feel under pressure with the constant attention of an instructor
in a private lesson, and they are too shy or self-conscious to learn in a
group. There are several videos that cater specifically to wedding couples
and their special needs. No matter how you decide to tackle the learning
process, remember to be supportive and have patience with each other’s
difficulties. The reward will be well worth the effort.
How will your first dance begin and end? Your bandleader or DJ
can call you out to the dance floor and announce your first dance.
Traditionally the father of the bride will eventually cut in and dance
with his daughter (this may be done to a new song or during the original
song), at which point the groom may ask the bride’s mother to dance.
Then the groom’s father may dance with the bride, at which time the
bride’s father may cut in on his wife and the groom. The groom may then
ask his mother to dance. Additionally the groom may dance with the maid of
honor and the bride with the best man, while the in laws dance with each
other. Finally the entire wedding party, and then the guests may join in
the dancing. As the wedding couple you must decide before the ceremony
which part of this traditional order you would like to follow, if any.
This is only a guide and it is your choice who to involve in the dancing.
It is important to notify the individuals that you want to participate,
and instruct them as to when they should join the dance, and with whom
they should dance. Depending on how many people will eventually be
dancing, you may have to select an additional song or songs for everyone
to dance to.
Your First Dance should be one of the many beautiful memories of
your wedding day. By preparing in advance you will be able to relax and
have fun with each other, enjoying your moment. Don’t think of this as a
performance but as a ritual, part of the vows and promises that you will
exchange on this special day.
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