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Imagine the scenario:
you're literally a week away from your fairy tale wedding and
marrying the man of your dreams. You have worked on your
masterpiece for months - everything is in perfect order (right
down to the attendants' gifts being wrapped and ready to present
at the rehearsal dinner). Your groom suddenly says he has some
news; his groomsman has backed out!
This exact situation happened to me (as I'm sure it's happened
to other brides) and I guarantee that if I could handle it, you
can too. What I thought what would be a nightmare turned out to
be just fine. Keep it all in perspective, meditate, relax, and
concentrate on all the things going right!
First of all, talk to the person who was supposed to be part of
your bridal party. What are the reasons? If it's health related,
not much can be done - a pregnant bridesmaid who goes into
premature labor is instantly forgiven. However, perhaps it's
financial reasons. Sometimes a groomsman or bridesmaid really
wants to stand up for you, but is reluctant to mention they
don't have the extra funds. If possible for you and your fiancé,
see if arrangements can be made if you really have your heart
set on them being in your wedding. You can even help them
purchase the attire as your gift to them for participating in
your big day.
Then comes another possible issue: dueling friends and family
members causing matrimony mayhem. Sometimes one person will
dislike another person in your party so much that they no longer
want to be involved. This may be a sad fact to face, but if both
people are special in your lives, you may want to find another
role quickly for one of the members so all can be included. A
person that does a reading or plays or sings a musical piece is
very important during the ceremony, but wouldn't have to be
closely involved in a lot of planning or rehearsals.
And, the other option may just be that the person you thought
would be in your wedding may not be the friend or responsible
person you thought they were. Now is the time to take a deep
breath and closely examine your options. Is there another person
that can replace your first choice? Perhaps asking an usher or
junior bridesmaid to step up? Even if you do not have the attire
ready, many very close matches can be found quickly, or this can
be an opportunity to let your and your attendants' individuality
shine!
If a replacement is not an option, remember that many ceremonies
do not have equal numbers of bridesmaids to groomsmen and that
your wedding will be just as gorgeous because the focus is on
the couple, not the attendants. If programs are already printed,
you can always add an insert with the correction. Most people
attending your wedding don't even truly know the members or your
party, so this will not be devastating news to them and all they
will remember are the newlyweds' glowing smiles.
We actually had no idea what we would do since we had
brainstormed all week, but the day of the rehearsal things all
came together. Since one of our two groomsmen had backed out, we
hadn't thought about asking our usher until the day before the
ceremony because we couldn't find a replacement for him (plus my
husband had a "secret role for our usher I was unaware of).
We finally asked him and he rushed out to get a tux which ended
up not being a problem - turns out renting tuxes at the last
minute is a regular thing with guys! It made it all the more
meaningful when he surprised me at the reception by singing a
song he wrote for me, and our former usher turned groomsman was
the one he had secretly co-wrote it with and who played the
guitar while my husband sang to me! This was a guy I hardly even
knew and he fit perfectly into our big day, which I'm sure could
happen to anyone if it happened to us! (By the way, being an
usher short will turn out just fine, too - many people prefer to
seat themselves).
So, while the day may not be exactly as originally planned, it
still will be great and all eyes will be on you and your new
husband. Remember, you two are the stars so enjoy it!!!
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