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Vexed by requests like "cocktail attire"?
Don't be—we're got
your guide to outfits for any kind of wedding.
So there I was at 6 p.m., running late for a friend's Santa Fe wedding. And
while no particular type of dress had been indicated on the invitation, I'd just
assumed it was going to be a formal church affair.
Well, you know what they say about when you assume. When I finally reached
the church, the ceremony had already begun, and as I headed to my seat, several
people turned to stare. It wasn't until I'd settled in and had a chance to look
around that I realized why. Dressed to the nines in my long black gown,
slinky stilettos and pearl necklace, I looked as out of place as a debutante in
a pool hall. Not only were the other guests clad in casual attire, roughly half
of them were wearing cowboy hats.
True story. And a cautionary one for all you wedding guests out there. No
matter how fashionable you may be in your daily life, dressing for someone
else's nuptials can be a tricky business. These days, it's almost as common to
receive an invitation bestowed with phrases like festive dress and creative
dress as it is to come by one that simply states black tie (more on this
later).
But fear not. According to New York City wedding planner Susan Bell, there
are some basic guidelines. For starters, let's take a look at some dress codes
based on different times of day. Bear in mind, though, that wedding dressing may
vary by geographic location (as I now know all too well). "So if you're
traveling out of town," says Bell, "it's always best to contact
someone-a wedding party member or local friend of the bride and groom-who's
privy to what to wear."
The Morning Wedding
In the past few years morning and/or brunch weddings have become increasingly
popular. And while your first instinct may be to dress way down, Bell
says going super-casual is a no-no. "It's still a wedding," she says,
"which means throwing on any old shirt and pants will never be
appropriate." So unless your invite strictly states Casual Attire, men
should plan to wear a suit or sport coat with slacks and even a tie. Women
should opt for dresses, skirts and suits that are more relaxed-in both style and
fabric-than what they'd put on for an evening affair. If it's springtime, floral
dresses for women and lighter-color suits for men are great choices.
The Afternoon Wedding
Now here's where things start to get tricky, Bell says, because many couples
today are having semiformal afternoon weddings-meaning black tie for wedding
guests both female and male. "If this is the case, the invitation should
say so," Bell says. If your invite doesn't indicate dress code, feel free
to dress for a luncheon as you would for a morning event-casual skirts, suits
and dresses for the women, suits or slacks and crisp shirts for the men.
The Evening Wedding
Even more precarious is figuring out what to don when you receive a wedding
invite for an affair after 6 p.m. that does not indicate formality. A good rule
of thumb: Dress as you would for any other social event held at the same hour in
the same season. This means chic dresses, elegant suits and skirts for women;
dark suits in sophisticated fabrics for men, maybe cuff links and silk tie.
Women's accessories for evening events can also be more elaborate-so go ahead
and break out your evening purse and pearls.
Word Play
Beyond time of day, it's common for brides and grooms use the terms black tie
and black tie optional on their invites to cue you into the formality of
dress, no matter what time of day the nuptials are scheduled. Some of the most
widely used phrases follow:
- White tie. Formal, the words white tie on an invite, Bell
says, "necessitate long dresses for women and tails for the men."
Case closed.
- Black tie. This signifies a semiformal affair, which means tuxedoes
for men, and fancy dresses for women, usually of floor length (though this
can vary, depending on what's in fashion).
- Black Tie Optional. In this case, the bride and groom "really
want you to wear black tie," Bell says, "but are providing you
with an out if you don't own or [don't] want to rent a tuxedo." Still,
men should dress as formally as they can, in a black, charcoal or dark navy
suit. And women should stick with the rules for black tie.
- Cocktail Attire (or Festive Dress). If either of these
phrases appear on your invite, dress as you would for a fancy cocktail party
or dinner, with an emphasis on sophisticated style. For men, that means a
dark suit. For women, the buzzwords are chic and sleek, as opposed to pretty and sweet.
- Creative Dress. One of the newer, exciting-and-simultaneously
confusing phrases, creative dress "means dress as you wish, but look
absolutely stylish and fabulous," Bell says.
- Casual Attire. Finally, the presence of this phrase (or something
similar like bare feet welcome) on your invite lets you know you
don't have to dress up. Maybe it's a beach wedding or one being held in a
park. Either way, leave the dark suits and high heels at home, and opt
instead for a flowing dress or skirt. Men should feel free to don slacks, a
shirt sans tie, and—if you just happen to be in Santa Fe—a cowboy hat.
Yee-haw!
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