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There is nothing
a DJ or band fears more then when the Bride and Groom produce a list of all
the songs they don’t want played during their reception – the
dreaded “Do Not Play” list. Generally,
this list consists of longtime party favorites like “YMCA,” “The
Chicken Dance,” and “Hokey Pokey,” and relative newcomers like
"Macarena" and "Who Let The Dogs Out" just to name a few.
After reviewing
the list with the bride and groom, many of the songs on
their list would surely fill the dance floor and keep the party rockin’.
The usual response is “it’s my reception and I don’t want
to hear that song.” There
is no argument that a reception should reflect the personalities of
the bride and groom but there should also be some flexibility allotted
to the DJ or band to appeal to all of your guest’s varied tastes.
Most DJ’s and
bands find
it incredibly frustrating when a bride and groom invite families, with
many children in attendance, yet they forbid the playing of any
“Boy Group” music (such as Nsync or Backstreet Boys), "Teen
Queens" (such as Britney Spears), or entertain with the “Chicken Dance” or
“YMCA.” The end result is
that the children get bored, and have no way to burn off excess
energy. Guess what happens
then? Ever attend a reception
and had to spend time dodging children on the dance floor, endangering
themselves or others?
Before you and
your fiancé sit down to work on your “Do Not Play” list, ask
yourself a couple of questions:
- How
many children and teens will be in attendance? Understand their music
tastes. One method that has worked in the past is to concede a couple of
songs or interactive bits (limbo, hula hoops, etc.) with the kids. Do one of
these early in the reception and tell the kids that any future songs or bits
depends "on how well they behave themselves the rest of the
night." Not only will you have nipped a potential problem in the bud,
but the kids will usually enjoy the attention and actually give
consideration to their behavior!
- Even
if I don’t like a particular song or group, if a guest wants to hear it,
can I tolerate it so they can have a good time? Many times, the root cause
of the need for a "do not play" list is not so much that the bride
and groom dislike the songs, but rather, they don't want to be made the
center of attention for it. If you can convey to your DJ or band that you do
not want them to announce you to the dance floor to "lead us in the
chicken dance" then it makes it possible to play crowd favorites
knowing that you can safely avoid them while not depriving your guests of
them.
- Can
I trust the DJ or band I hired to use all the music at his disposal to ensure
everyone
has fun? Everyone has their likes and dislikes when it comes to music,
especially those who play it for a living. The good ones will be able to, as
they say, "check their opinions at the door" and gladly play the
music you request. After all, it's your day, not theirs! By
giving the DJ or band some direction and generalized tips, they can work up
a playlist that will be entertaining for all the varied age groups in
attendance at a typical wedding. Catering to the musical preferences of all
your guests is a skill that separates the novice entertainer from the
experienced professional. Do not be afraid to ask to see music lists in
advance, or to provide one and ask the DJ or band to play selections from
it.
When creating a "do not
play" list, one reason given by many couples is that they've attended many
weddings recently, as their friends all marry in a relatively short period of
time, and they don't want their own wedding to be like these others. While this
is certainly in tune with the desire to create a totally unique reception for
themselves, one factor sometimes overlooked is that most of the guests they will
invite may not be attending their 4th or 5th wedding in a year or so. These
guests may be attending their first wedding in many years, making their
reception expectations different from people who have attended many recently.
What is seen as "overplayed" by some may be seen as "eagerly
anticipated" by others. In the long run, it may be more worthwhile to let
Aunt Ethel hear the Chicken Dance or Macarena rather than give her the
opportunity to remind you every time she sees you how her favorite song was
banned from your reception.
A good DJ and band understands,
for example, when the couple says they don't want to hear Hard Rock or Rap
because they have a very limited audience and appeal, especially to
grandma and grandpa who are in attendance. However, it’s a good idea
to move from the “it’s my reception” thought process to
“let’s celebrate our special day with our guests”.
Guests may soon forget what your reception meal was, or what the color
of your bridesmaid dresses were, but they will remember for a long
time whether or not your reception was fun. By adopting a realistic
approach to songs often appearing on a "do not play" list, it’s a sure fire recipe for success and a day of FUN!
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