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If you’re
planning a Catholic
ceremony, you
have quite a few decisions to make. In addition to processional and
recessional music, you’ll need to choose hymns, Psalms, readings, and
blessing. Confused? Here’s a step-by-step guide through the
traditional Catholic ceremony to help you plan.
The Processional:
First the
groom and the best man enter from the side of the church. Then the
bridesmaids and groomsmen escort one another up the aisle, followed by the
maid of honor, who enters alone. And last but certainly not least, the
bride and her father (or another male family member) make their grand
entrance.
Hymn:
The priest invites the
wedding guests to join in an opening hymn (or song).
Greeting or Opening Prayer:
After
the hymn, the priest begins the mass with a greeting to the guests or an
opening prayer. The priest greets the community and blesses them. There
may be a "Penitential Rite" which consists of a communal prayer
for mercy and forgiveness for all present, followed by a prayer or song
called the "Gloria" ("Glory to God in the highest, and
peace to his people on earth", etc.)
The Liturgy of the Word:
Consists of three readings from the Bible, chosen by the couple, all of
which will probably have something to do with marriage. Friends and family
members will probably be chosen to read the Scripture. First will be a
reading from the Old Testament; then a psalm, either read from the Book of
Psalms or a song based on one; then a reading from the New Testament.
There will also be a reading by the Priest from one of the four Gospels
(Matthew, Mark, Luke or John), preceded by a special "Alleluia"
prayer or song called the Gospel Acclamation. (Christians who are able to
do so should remain standing during the reading from the Gospel.) After
the Gospel, the Priest will give a short talk or homily reflecting on the
marriage which is about to take place.
Homily: After the Gospel, the
priest will expound or reflect upon what he has just read.
The Marriage Rite: This will take up
the largest part of the ceremony. The familiar exchange of vows and of
rings will take place first, sealing the marriage. (This may seem
anticlimactic to those of you who are used to seeing this part happen at
the very end!) After the rings are exchanged, the Mass continues. Prayers
for the newlyweds, for the community, and for various groups of people
will be offered up. Then the Eucharistic service begins. Bread and wine
will be blessed and prepared to become the Eucharistic meal. We will pray
the Lord's Prayer together, and then spend a few moments to offer one
another a sign of peace in the form of a handshake or hug and saying, “Peace be with you.”.
Then the bread and wine will be distributed during Communion.
Communion: The priest offers communion to the members of the church.
Generally, at the rehearsal he’ll ask which members of the wedding party
plan to take communion. Then at the ceremony, your non-Catholic
attendants can walk through the line and give him an inconspicuous nod.
A Note on
Communion"I've heard that non-Catholics are barred from taking part in the
Eucharist. Is this true?"
For Catholics, the Holy Eucharist is the
highest form of worship. As such, this sacrament is treated with a great
deal of care. Even Catholics are sometimes barred from taking part in the
Eucharist under some circumstances.
Catholics, along with the Orthodox churches
and a few Protestant churches, believe that during Mass the bread and wine
given for the meal actually become the body and blood of Jesus Christ (1
Cor 11:23-29). They know that the physical makeup of the stuff doesn't
change - the same molecules are all there - but Christians believe that
everything has an eternal, spiritual component which is more real than its
physical appearances, and it is this spiritual component which changes. At
Catholic masses the body and blood of Christ is offered, in general, only
to those who are Catholics and only those who believe and understand the
nature of the sacrament. Furthermore, Catholics are bound to abstain from
the Eucharist if they are in a state of unrepented, unconfessed sin or if
they have not observed a one-hour fast prior to the Mass.
Some Christian churches won't marry a
couple unless the couple shares the church's beliefs about marriage and
promises to abide by them. Roman Catholic Christian churches offer the
Eucharist to people who share the church's belief about the Eucharist and
promises to receive in in the proper spirit.
This being said, it should be pointed out
that at a wedding, if a non-Catholic approaches the sacrament and asks for
it, it will not be refused to him or her. However, partaking in the
Eucharist is a public demonstration of a belief in the true existence of
the body and blood of Christ in what was formerly only bread and wine. If
you do not share this belief, it is probably most respectful to abstain.
You should follow your conscience in determining whether it would be
appropriate for you to receive communion or not. Nobody will stare at you,
think you are being disrespectful, or wonder what's wrong if you choose
simply to remain quietly in your seat.
The Concluding Rite: Consists of a blessing of the community and of the
newlyweds, a dismissal, (usually by saying
“The mass has ended. You may now go in peace”) and finally a
recessional song. Guests wait until the wedding party and priest has left before
leaving their seats to exit the church
Recessional:
Exit
the church in the reverse order
of the processional.
Etiquette for
Non-Catholic Visitors
"As a non-Catholic visitor, what am
I expected to do to show proper respect without compromising my own
beliefs?"
Do not say anything or do anything that you
feel goes against your own religious beliefs. Nobody expects
non-Christians to join in praying the Lord's Prayer or reciting the Creed.
If it doesn't bother you to do so, you can stand up and sit down and kneel
with the parishioners. If this isn't your style, nobody will stare at you
or think you disrespectful if you choose to remain seated throughout the
ceremony. Standing and kneeling, however, are things that are done
specifically to show respect for particular parts of the Mass, like the
reading of the Gospel or the presence of the Eucharist.
Guidelines for Non-Christians
Welcome! One of the beliefs Catholics hold
dear is that all people form one community and share a common destiny in
God. You may pray with them and for them to God as you know Him, and
hopefully, you find in their worship a sign of the Living God whom all
humans seek.
Please don't feel that you need to join in
reciting prayers which go contrary to your beliefs. You may be
respectfully asked to refrain from joining in the Communion meal of bread
and wine, as this sacrament is reserved for Christian believers.
Guidelines for Non-Catholic
Christians
Your prayers and participation in the
Liturgy of the Word is welcome. Christians should stand during the reading
of the Gospel as a sign of respect for the Word of the Lord. Consider
carefully whether it would be appropriate for you to receive Communion.
Symbols and Significance
"What is the
spiritual significance of marriage between Catholics?"
The Church teaches that marriage is a
permanent bond made by God which can never be broken by man even if man
wanted to. What's most important to Catholics is that marriage is a
symbol of the unification of God and humans. As the bride and groom are
joined, they will become a symbol of the marriage between God and the
human soul. Their lives together won't be perfect, it'll have its ups
and downs, but hopefully, they'll grow ever closer as the years go by,
remaining always faithful to one another as God remains always faithful
to those who love him, and nourishing one another as God nourishes those
who follow him.
The flowers and greenery which decorate
the church are symbols of the everlasting and eternal life; flowers
represent rebirth after death, while evergreens are symbolic of a more
"constant" life, the candle flickering in the dark, the green
bough in the midst of winter.
The color white worn by the bride and
groom is a symbol of chastity, both of purity before marriage and of
purity within marriage.
The advent wreath with its four purple
and pink or blue and white candles, which you may see in the church
during a December wedding, represents many things. The candles are lit
one each week for the four weeks before Christmas; as the light grows,
like the coming of the winter solstice, we are reminded of the coming of
the Light of Christ into the world. The green circle of evergreens
reminds us of the cycle of the year and of rebirth after death; the
colors are colors of anticipation; and the whole represents to us three
things: the waiting for the feast of Christmas, the earth's period of
waiting for the infant Christ to be born, and the earth's current period
of waiting for Christ to return to us. (It doesn't have much to do with
the wedding, but just in case you were wondering...)
The holy water font is a large bowl near
the door of the church containing a quantity of water. There isn't
anything really special about the water, except that it has been blessed
and prayed over; it is the water used in baptisms. Upon entering and
leaving the church, touch your fingers to the water and perform a
prayer-sign: touching of the forehead, chest, left and right shoulder is
a silent way of saying "I pray for blessing in the name of the
Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit." This is also a renewal
of baptismal promises. All Christians who enter the church are invited
to pray this prayer.
The
unity
candle is a large candle flanked by two smaller ones which are lit
by the bride's and groom's mothers before the ceremony; during the
ceremony, the bride and groom will each take their individual candle and
use it to light the single large candle, signifying their joining two
lives into one. Some couples blow out their individual candles to
symbolize their complete joining to one another in the forging of a
united front; others leave the individual candles lit to stress that
they will retain their own individuality.
The wedding rings symbolize in their
circular shape the eternal bond of marriage; also, gold represents
incorruptibility, as it's a relatively unreactive metal, and also nice
and shiny. They're also the first gift to one another as husband and
wife, they're worn to show the world the couple is joined.
Trivia
Here's some interesting stuff you may not have
known before:
Giving away the Bride
In Catholic weddings, the bride is not
"given away" by her father, although she is usually escorted down the
aisle during the entrance rite.
"Honor and Obey"
The bride does not vow to "obey" her
husband in the Catholic rite.
"I Now Pronounce You Husband and
Wife"
You won't hear this phrase or any like it during
a Catholic wedding ceremony. In fact, the priest does not pronounce the couple
married at all. He doesn't "marry them" or even confer the sacrament
of marriage upon them. The couple confer marriage upon each other through their
vows. The priest is there as a witness and to preside over Mass.
"Speak Now or Forever Hold Your
Peace"
You won't hear this either. In most parishes, a
series of wedding announcements are printed in the church bulletin for three
weeks before the wedding. It is during this time that anyone who knows a reason
why the couple should not contract marriage has the opportunity to contact the
priest.
When exactly are they married?
The couple is married when the rings have been
exchanged. The service will continue for a while longer.
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