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There's
no universal solution to combining two incomes into one household. Every couple
has to decide what will work for them.
When you're divvying up financial
responsibilities, there's no good across-the-board formula, says Adriane G.
Berg, author of
Financial Planning for Couples: How To Work Togerther To Build Security and Success. "You have to know
what feels fair. If it feels fair, it's right," Berg points out.
That advice holds true when tackling the issue of
how to organize checking accounts. On the one hand, keeping everything separate,
an approach more common among newlyweds with established careers, allows each
partner to maintain financial independence, a need that especially resonates
with women, but it can create bookkeeping and bill-paying headaches. It probably
won't work if one partner is laid off or quits to raise the children. And it may
even lead to tension if the spouses keep investments that grow at very different
rates.
On the other hand, pooling every penny, as
younger couples are more apt to do, streamlines the bills-paying process, but it
also can be awkward, leaving partners without enough autonomy. "It's pretty
clear that everybody needs some money they can call their own, even if it's just
to surprise their partner with a gift," Berg says.
More
and more couples favor some combination of the two systems: Create a joint
account for groceries, rent and so on, and give each partner some individual
spending money. This could be in the form of an allowance, credit card or
separate checking account.
Choosing this option requires open communication
between partners. For instance, should you and your spouse have paychecks
deposited directly into your joint account, and withdraw your personal funds
once a month or so, or should you maintain your individual accounts and pay into
the joint account?
If one of you makes twice as much as the other,
you may decide that person should pay twice as much into the joint account to
cover household expenses. But maybe you'll balance things out some other way, in
how you share the household chores, for instance. Just keep in mind that
negotiating your income and payments can emotionally impact the balance of power
in your relationship. So listen to each other, and don't try to come up with
quick solutions. Making sure that both of you feel your system is right will go
a long way in your marriage.
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