Why A Proposal?
In the 19th century, declaration of love was tantamount to proposal; arranged marriages did not include proposals nor did marriage by capture. Asking the bride's father for her comes from the era of arranged marriages.

Why An Engagement?
The engagement is a means to an end-- marriage. Indeed, the full term is "engaged to be married." At one time, however, the engagement was as important as the wedding itself. Anglo-Saxons were used to stealing away their brides-to-be. Romance, wooing and engagements were not in the picture. But the families of the women insisted on being reimbursed for what was, after all, a working member of the family. The engagement itself signified the intended transfer of ownership from father to husband and also provided a period during which the "bride's price" could be agreed. Several centuries later the situation was in reverse and fathers were paying future sons-in-law, or their families, a "dowry" to marry off their daughters. The engagement was again a time for agreeing on the payment, or dowry, and also a time for collecting an extravagant trousseau, at least for rich brides.

Why An Engagement Party?
Once marked by a party called a "flouncing", the couple met with their future in-laws to make the engagement official. Neither of the couple could be seen talking to another man or woman after this point and should the engagement be broken, the one breaking it forfeited half of his or her worldly goods.

Why Announce The Engagement?
Publishing banns to make sure no legal objections exist to prevent the marriage. Engagement was symbolized by a ring, a kiss, or sharing of food or drink.

Why A Betrothal Ring?
The troth or promise ring is older than the wedding band. Its earliest form was probably plaited sweet grass, which came from the custom of securing the bride's wrists and ankles with rushes during the age of marriage by capture. When restraint became more symbolical than physical, a grass ring was given to her, succeeded by rings of metal as man became more accomplished in the crafts. The Romans and Egyptians, with their love of precious metal and stones, initiated the production of platinum, silver and gold rings. Jeweled rings were the next step and the diamond is mentioned specifically from about the fourth century AD, and frequently from the fifteenth century on.

Why An Engagement Ring?
Before coinage, gold rings were circulated as currency. By giving a gold ring to his bride, a man showed he trusted her with his property. Under Roman law, the ring was a sign of security, protecting the interests of the bride-to-be. In Elizabethan times, an interlocking set of three rings was used and worn during the engagement period by the bride, the groom and the witness at the wedding. The three rings would be placed on the bride's finger during the wedding ceremony. Diamond rings became popular in the 19th century.

Why A Diamond?
The diamond was called the Venus stone by the ancients to compare its shining beauty with the planet Venus in the evening sky. Like this goddess, who was dedicated to love, the diamond in time became associated with sweethearts, and its mysterious inner fire was likened to the equally mysterious fires of passion. The Greeks called is "adamas"- eternal or unchanging, a declaration as to the depths of their emotions, let us hope. But more probably the ancient name came from the character of the stone--the hardest substance in nature. According to history, the diamond as an engagement ring began in 1477 with Maximilllian of Austria and Mary of Burgundy. Max took the advice and proposed, slipping a diamond ring on her third finger, left hand side. Mary said "Yes" and a tradition was born. Today, when many traditions are toppling, the diamond ring tradition is stronger than ever. It is followed by four our of five engaged couples- for whom the individual expression of their love is still captured in that tiny, sprkling gem.

Why A Wedding Band?
Wedding bands symbolizing eternal love by their lack of beginning or end, grew out of the ancient tradition of using circlets of grass to decorate a bride's wrists and ankles. Although nor required to validate marriage under a civil law, rings were required in 16th century by the Council of Trent. Circular shape symbolizes eternity.

Why Third Finger, Left Hand?
The ancients believed that a special vein, which they called a "vena amoris" or vein of love, ran from the finger directly to the heart. By putting on a fitted ring, the affections were bound in and could never flow out the finger tips. Also, this finger--although no the smallest on the hand--is the weakest and most dependent on the others for help in lifting and holding. It seemed to symbolize the young wife supported by the strength of her husband. The "ring" finger has sometimes been on the left hand, sometimes on the right, according to country and custom. Among English-speaking persons, it has been on the left since the edict of Edward VI in 1549.

Why A Bridal Shower?
This tradition evolved form Holland when a father disapproved of his daughter's choice and the villagers gathered to "shower" her with the dowry her father refused.

Why A White Gown?
White is the ceremonial symbol of purity and virtue and hence of maidenhood. It has been so since Biblical times. But white has not always been the fashion for wedding gowns. Prior to the 19th century, it was fashionable to wear a colorful outfit that could be adopted for later wear.

A typical early American bride wore the best she should afford-- and potentially re-use-- in the prevailing fashion of the day. It might be a white linen shift over a petticoat or two, a blue and white Calico smock or something in pink, a fashion color, with velvet or trim. Colonial brides also wore pastel brocades and even cherry red satin, but the rites were most often performed at home than in a church. Nellie Custis revised the wearing of white at her marriage to George Washington's favorite nephew on the ex-president's last birthday, February 22, 1799, and white has now been the fashion for some 200 years. However, candlelight or ivory shades are equally popular with today's brides. About 1820 white became popular for formal occasions, although pastels were in vogue until the end of the century. When Queen Victoria popularized white at her own wedding in 1840, it became the official color for brides, because it was considered a symbol of Biblical purity. Although fashions have changed, white is still symbolic of brides and the word "white" has come to symbolize happiness and joy.

Why A Bridal Veil?
We think of the veil as being oriental because the Eastern bridegroom often did not see his bride's face until after the ceremony. Actually, the veil is older than the harem and rises from the mists of mythology. Ishtar, ancient Goddess of Love, came from the depths to me her betrothed, the vapors of the earth and sea covering her "like a veil". Folklore has it that the tradition of the veil changed to include a blusher after Jacob was tricked into marrying his beloved Rachel's sister, Leah, who was distinguished under the full veiling. It seems there is much to be said for inspecting the bride before it is too late! The invention of the wide loom and silk tulle in the 19th century gave women a sheer covering that enhanced their beauty. The wedding veil symbolizes modesty, privacy, youth and virginity. That way of thinking still has a foothold on bridal etiquette, as only a first-time bride wears a veil. Now, the blusher, like the veil, is optional. However, wearing a veil does create a very romantic moment s the groom lifts it to kiss his bride for the first time as her husband.

Why A Blue Garter?
We all know that something blue is lucky for the bride, but why a blue garter? This seems to stem from the most noble Order of the Garter, the oldest order of knighthood in Europe. Its regalia includes a collar, a star and an actual blue velvet garter. Since queens and princesses are the only women invested with the Order, and a bride is a "queen for the day", she may enjoy royal prerogatives by wearing a blue garter below her left knee.

Why A Trousseau?
Once upon a time, the bride's family began preparing for her marriage when she was born. They collected embroidered and crafted items to store in a striking piece of furniture known as a "marriage" or "hope" chest. A century ago in Italy the bride's belongings were carried in a street procession to her marriage and everyone saw the contents. Today, the bride's family might purchase the hope chest. In some communities today, a "trousseau tea" is held before the wedding. This "ladies only" social gathering is a way to show off all the bride's new things-- not just gifts, but lingerie, clothing items, personal items-- everything but the wedding costume. If the bride is planning to display her gifts at her home, we suggest that you advise her not to leave them unattended during the wedding and reception, unless she has temporary insurance.