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"Here's a toast
to the happy couple!"
It's not to test the drinks for poison – a reason the practice started
among the Greeks in the 6th century B.C. – but to salute the stars of the day, according to etiquette expert Jacqueline
Whitmore.
"It is an art, because its effectiveness depends on intuition, timing, and
a well-articulated message," she says.
Whitmore, founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach, says to remember the
three "B's" as you raise your glass:
"Begin, be brief, and be seated."
It may seem obvious, but don't forget the toast is to recognize the people
you're toasting, she says. Be as eloquent and creative as you please. But be
brief, keeping your tribute to just a few sentences. End on a positive note and
sit down, giving the bride and groom an opportunity to respond.
And, she cautions, don't confuse a toast with a "roast."
Some other toast points from Whitmore:
• The toast is usually offered at the beginning of the wedding meal, to
welcome everyone and acknowledge the happy couple. It's acceptable but not
necessary to clink glasses as you raise the toast. Simply raising your glass –
a practice of many cultures – is fine.
• Never tap the side of your glass with a utensil to get attention or quiet
the chatter of guests. It's dangerous and, for all you know, it may be a piece
of fine crystal you're endangering.
• The father of the bride or the best man takes precedence in offering the
first toast. And after the toast is made, the couple should rise and respond
with their own toast.
• The couple should never drink a toast to themselves.
• And never refuse to participate in a toast, even if you're a tee-totaller.
It's perfectly acceptable to toast with a non-alcoholic beverage.
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