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Choosing Attendants
Since participating in a wedding is a special
honor and responsibility (both personally and financially), choosing attendants
is one of the bride and groom's most important decisions. The best choices for
your attendants are best friends and close relatives.
Keep in
mind that feelings can get hurt when someone (i.e. your friend from first grade
that you haven't spoken to in ten years) expects to be in the wedding party and
is not asked. Conversely, if someone who doesn't know you "well
enough" IS asked, he or she might feel obligated and unjustly burdened. In
other words, chose your attendants wisely!
The average formal and semiformal wedding
includes four to six bridesmaids. Informal weddings vary much more and can
simply involve a maid of honor and ushers. The ideal usher count is one for
every fifty wedding guests, but should at least match the number of bridal
attendants.
If it is a second marriage and either or both of you have children, try to
create the sense of a "marriage of family." Involve the children in
the wedding in some capacity, particularly as attendants, if they are old
enough. Discuss this with your first spouse so as to avoid any awkwardness for
the children.
Attendant's Responsibilities
The various duties of the attendants are as
follows:
Bride's Attendants
Maid or Matron of Honor
-
assists and consults bride
-
holds bride's bouquet during ceremony
-
adjusts bride's veil
-
arranges train when bride leaves at end of
service
-
stands next to couple in receiving line
-
sits on groom's left at bridal table
-
helps bride change into going-away costume
-
usually arranges shower for the bride
Bridesmaids
-
form bridal procession
-
can stand in receiving line and act as deputy
hostesses
-
give a joint shower and/or a luncheon
-
give gifts
-
pay for gown and transportation
-
bride pays for lodging
Junior Bridesmaids
Flower Girl
-
between 3 to 7 years of age
-
walks directly before the ring bearer in
processional
-
walks directly behind ring bearer in
recessional
-
not at rehearsal dinner
-
not in receiving line
-
dress paid for by her family
-
dress may match bridesmaids' dresses, be a
child's dress, or be white
Ring Bearer
-
between 3 to 7 years of age
-
wears a tux
-
carries ring on white velvet or satin cushion
-
immediately proceeds bride in processional
Groom's Attendants
Best Man
-
selects groom's gift
-
helps groom pack
-
oversees traveling outfit and groom's dressing
-
keeps track of time
-
holds wedding ring
-
gets officiant's fee from groom
-
helps groom change into traveling clothes
-
takes care of wedding clothes
-
makes sure groom has everything for trip
-
may deliver luggage
-
may send champagne and flowers to honeymoon
site
-
in charge of transportation for bride and
groom to leave
-
drives bride and groom to car or makes
arrangements
-
makes sure luggage is stowed in going-away
vehicle
-
delivers officiant's fees
-
drives couple to reception
-
sits to bride's right at bridal table and
makes first toast
-
leads couple to exit
Head Usher
Other Ushers
-
properly seats all guests and family members
-
put pew ribbons in position
-
lay aisle carpet and walk in processional
-
sit at bridal table, but not in receiving line
-
pay for clothes
-
attend bachelor party
-
give gifts
Junior Usher
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