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Planning
a large, formal wedding in a backyard is somewhat more complicated than planning
the same event at, say, a hotel ballroom. Unless your backyard is attached to a
mansion, you probably don't have the bathroom or parking facilities for a crowd.
You also will almost certainly have to rent items that usually come with a
wedding site, like tables, chairs, and eating utensils. Then there's the
question of rain or hot weather, which is usually answered by renting a tent. A
large, formal backyard wedding is not for couples who want to avoid stress,
unless they have a lot of help.
A small, informal backyard wedding, on the other
hand, is manageable by almost any couple that is willing to think things through
thoroughly. Let's take some of the planning issues one-by-one.
Guest List
Write out a preliminary guest list, including the people that the parents will
want to invite, before making a firm decision on a backyard wedding. Now look at
the size of the house and backyard. If it rained, could you fit the whole guest
list into your living room or family room? If it doesn't rain, can you fit the
whole guest list into the yard?
One thing to think about, in estimating space, is where guests are going to sit.
Many people are not comfortable standing for long periods, so you definitely
want enough chairs to allow a minimum of half the guests to be seated at any
time. If you have to rent folding chairs, ask the party rental company how much
space each seat should be allowed, including leg room for the person sitting in
it. Compare this figure to the size of your backyard.
Food and Drink
A backyard wedding makes it easier to do your own catering, if you have a big
refrigerator, a big kitchen (as a staging and preparation area), and plans for a
very simple buffet that doesn't require keeping food hot or cold. It's also
useful to have some helpful friends or relatives, as the bride probably does not
want to try to refill the punch bowl while wearing her wedding gown. If you
self-cater the wedding, it's probably simplest to treat it almost like a picnic,
using sturdy paper plates and disposable utensils.
You can also hire a caterer. Make sure you discuss, before signing the contract,
what kind of space and resources the caterer will need, as well as whether
plates and utensils are included in the cost. You may want to look into whether
any small restaurants locally cater parties, as their menus often work very well
with a casual mood.
Music
If you go the "toss some CDs in the CD player" route, make sure you
have a responsible friend who will keep the music going. If, instead, you hire
musicians or a DJ, again, ask about how much space they need. If they will need
electricity for amplifiers or other equipment, definitely ask how much power is
required and whether any sort of special outlet is needed. You don't want your
house to blow a fuse as soon as the music starts, and with older houses, that's
a real possibility. (You also don't want miles of extension cord all over your
yard, as people will trip over it.)
However you handle music, think about the effect on your neighbors. The one day
a year that you decide to play loud music will be the day that one of your
neighbors is trying to nap off a migraine. If a pretty lively atmosphere is
important to you, you'd be much better off with a reception site that has walls.
Parking
Another cause of neighborly feuds is wedding guests who park in, or in front of,
other peoples' driveways. Look for a local school, church, or business that will
allow you to borrow their parking lot for the day. Do get permission, as some
church staff are quick to call the tow trucks.
Attire
If the celebration is relatively informal, it's most traditional and accepted
for the wedding party to dress more simply than they would for a formal wedding.
The bride wears a fairly plain gown with no train or a very short train, or even
a knee-length dress. Her veil is also relatively short and plain, or she can
choose to wear a hat, flowers, or simply a pretty hairstyle instead. Her
attendants wear dresses no longer than the current fashion for daytime wear.
The men in the wedding party where suits, or
blazers and khakis, rather than the "formal" options of a morning suit
(daytime) or a tuxedo (evening).
Of course, you can choose to have an even less formal wedding. But if you do,
make sure that your invitations are not very traditional and formal, as it's
awkward for everyone when guests show up more elaborately dressed than the
bride. For a very casual wedding, it is customary to invite people by writing a
letter or by phoning them.
Ceremony Logistics
The more work you're doing yourselves, the more merit there is to dropping the
tradition of keeping the bride and groom separate before the wedding. . . unless
the house is huge, there's no practical way to avoid seeing each other.
There are also practical things that must be done somewhere, though not
necessarily in the house. These include:
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Where will the bride and groom
dress?
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Where will the attendants
dress?
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If the bride and her
attendants have hair or make-up appointments, where will this work be done?
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Where will the bride be
immediately before the ceremony? (She can come out and help greet guests,
but if she doesn't wish to, she needs somewhere to hide.)
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Where can you station someone
to make sure that people who get corsages, boutonnieres, and bouquets all
pick up their floral tributes?
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Where will the wedding party
assemble for their grand entrance at the beginning of the ceremony? (Or do
you prefer to just have everyone gather around when the time comes, with no
processional?)
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How will the musicians or DJ
know when it's time to play the processional or other music?
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Where will the wedding party
stand for the ceremony?
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How long before the reception
will you have to set out the food?
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How will you handle photos
before the ceremony, if any, if you're also setting up for the wedding?
All of these questions must be answered no matter
where you have your wedding, but when you go a facility that does lots of
weddings, there is often someone to help you with the answers. When you hold a
wedding at home, you have to work it out for yourself, unless you hire a Wedding
Coordinator to oversee these details. As you hire vendors (if you do), take
advantage of their expertise by asking lots of questions about how their work
will happen in your space. If you do most things yourself, do some research on
each task (for instance, find out how to "condition" flowers so they
last before getting started on making bouquets, so you know you'll have the
space, equipment, and time). |
